


He woke up to nothing

by OpalTheFluffmaker



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 16:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15368817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpalTheFluffmaker/pseuds/OpalTheFluffmaker
Summary: Norman reflects on the insecurities that followed him into his new life. As it turns out, Ethan has his own share of insecurities too.





	He woke up to nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Just some fluff I had written a while back. I hope you'll enjoy it ^__^

Four months of living at the Mars' residence, and Norman Jayden still wasn't quite used to it yet.

He had always lived alone, after finding a place of his own and before becoming involved in the Origami Killer case. He never went out of his way to make friends or find possible roommates, and so he was used to managing on his own. It was better for him anyway, he thought--for as long as Norman could remember, having company around brought him anxiety, a sensation he grew skilled at hiding but not at overcoming.

One cat was not anxiety-inducing company, and thus Saturn didn't count.

The profiler's introduction to ARI and Triptocaine didn't do wonders for his social life either. He was already very reclusive, being focused solely on his work, but the addictions brought along all the more reason for him to hide himself away from other people--especially when the withdrawal symptoms would kick in. He never wanted to let on that he had a problem, both due to the risk of it putting his job on the line and the issue usually causing more trouble than it was worth.

And then there was the issue of work itself--it took up a considerable portion of his time, it would sometimes get him traveling from place to place, and as evident from the previous case, it involved a fair amount of danger. He couldn’t take the risk of bringing anybody into a life like that. What was the point of becoming close to someone if you were most likely going to lose them in some way?

Those were the main reasons Norman saw connecting with people as a hindrance, and tried to avoid it when possible. He would've been lying if he claimed not to feel a bit lonely at times, but in the long run, it was just another small obstacle. He went on with his life not expecting anyone to open themselves up to him willingly, or go out of their way to help him, or show any sign of sorrow when he would be gone.

And he certainly never would've expected to find himself in the bed of the man he'd helped save the child of. And yet here he was.

Norman didn't think he'd come back to this town at all, with the awful memories it would bring, and its corrupt police force, and the rainfall that seemed like it would never end. He expected the possibility of _living_ there even less.

_I guess there are just certain people who make up for all of that,_ he thought to himself as he pulled the covers over his head. _There may be a Carter Blake, but there's also an Ethan Mars, and that's more than enough to balance him out._

As if on cue, he heard the soft sounds of footsteps entering the room, and shortly after an amused voice asking him, "Are you hiding from me, Norman?"

"Mmf...no." The younger man pulled the covers down just a bit to make his voice sound more audible. "It's just a habit of mine. I tend to bury myself in the covers when ah'm going to sleep.."

"You're so cute," he heard Ethan reply, a faint teasing tone in his voice. Norman couldn't help but smirk, trying to ignore the heat of his face as he felt the weight of the architect settling next to him.

"I am _not,_ " he retorted. “I just don’t tolerate the cold too well." He moved the covers down a little more to get a good look at Ethan, his blush growing hotter as he covered his mouth in a sudden surplus of shyness from seeing him in nothing but his briefs.

It wasn't his first time seeing Ethan like that--Hell, he'd seen him wearing even less--just seeing his lover _revealed_ like that always got that reaction out of him. Norman never understood people who slept in only their underwear, whereas he himself slept in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Also, it didn't help that Ethan looked _really attractive_ without a shirt on.

"Let me help warm you up, then," Ethan said, getting into the covers and huddling up close to the profiler. Norman pulled the covers over both their heads and gently rested his head on Ethan's shoulder, and in turn he felt the older man's warm arms wrap around him lovingly, pulling him closer so both of their bodies were right up against each other. Norman exhaled softly at his touch--he always felt safe and comfortable when Ethan held him like that.

Norman moved his head back away from Ethan's shoulder, only for his vivid green eyes to meet his partner's gentle blue ones. It was nearly impossible for him to maintain his composure under the father's affectionate gaze, and even if the shade brought on by the covers prevented him from viewing them properly, that didn't stop the feeling of warmth that spread throughout his body, that excited yet calming feeling he would always get whenever he'd spend time doing things like this with Ethan.

"Is something on your mind?" Ethan asked, interrupting his train of thought.

Norman managed to snap out of his trance and bring his focus back to reality. He looked Ethan over again as he thought about how to answer without sounding too mushy, taking note of the soft smile on his face, but also the slight worry in his eyes.

Worry was not a new look on Ethan--and for good reason. After losing one son and finding your remaining child trapped in a flooding well for about three days, how else were you supposed to feel?

But Norman wanted to get rid of that expression. Ethan shouldn't have to feel worried when everything was okay now.

"Nah," he answered. "Not...Not really, I...uh, I just...I like your eyes."

The heat in his face returned, this time out of embarrassment. Only around Ethan did he ever have trouble finding the proper words. _How eloquent of you, Norman._

But it must've been a good enough answer for Ethan, because the architect was now grinning from ear to ear, and the concern usually settled in his eyes faded away. Norman received a tender squeeze as a reward, and could not help but return the smile.

"Thanks, Norm," Ethan replied, lips brushing up against Norman's cheek as he leaned in to kiss him. "Yours are nice too, if I do say so myself."

"They're nothin' in comparison," Norman said, glancing off to the side for a second as he felt himself grow shy again.

"Shh," Ethan hushed him. "I don't want to hear any of that. You have beautiful eyes, and that's final."

He then pressed a kiss to the younger man's lips, starting off gentle at first before pushing a bit harder to convey the passion he felt. Norman quickly reciprocated, leaning into the kiss to deepen it as he brought his arms around Ethan's waist. As the two of them continued to exchange kisses, Norman took in everything he felt during the moment—any time Ethan would hold him a little tighter, or lean in a bit further, or a hand would stroke the side of his body as both men tried to shift into more comfortable positions as they did this. Norman loved and longed for every second of it, every second that involved being close to the man he had fallen for.

Eventually they stopped before they could get too carried away, and once the lights were out they settled into bed, snuggled up close to one another as they drifted off into sleep.

————

Norman found himself waking up in the middle of the night--to absolutely nothing.

No nightmares had. No withdrawal he was forced to endure. No danger he needed to stop. Just nothing at all but the silence and the darkness of the bedroom. It was far more preferable, at least as preferable as waking up during the night went.

The profiler sat up slightly and looked over at the room, taking in his surroundings and making sure that there really wasn't   
anything wrong. Everything around him was quiet and tranquil, even outside the house where it actually wasn't raining for once. He wondered for a brief moment if Shaun had another nightmare and came into the room for reassurance, but he brushed off the idea, remembering that he didn’t hear anyone’s voice upon his awakening.

Norman then noticed the feeling of something at the other side of the bed, taking up space near his feet. He leaned in a little further to see that Saturn had come to join them, and was now curled up cozily in her slumber as well. A small smile crossed his features as he reached over to scratch the back of her head, getting a groggy mewl out of the cat.

Once sure that everything was in order, he lied back down on the bed to try and get himself back to sleep, only to feel a pair of arms pull him into a tight embrace. He felt Ethan right up against his back, his head pressed up against his shoulder. His smile grew a bit wider as he gently grabbed the older man's hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"An' what're _you_ doing up so late, Ethan?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"It's, um...it's nothing."

_Ah. That voice._ It was a particular tone that Norman had grown to recognize instantly, both from Ethan and from most people he associated with in previous cases. It was a tone of apprehension. Ethan was fearful about something.

"Ethan...?"

"I'm just..." He felt his partner's body shifting a bit uncomfortably from behind him. "...I just wanted to make sure you were still here."

Norman turned his head to look back over at Ethan, unable to get a clear glimpse of his face due to him ducking his head downward. "Well...yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I...I-I dunno, I..." Ethan moved his head back up to meet the younger man's eyes. "I'm still afraid of--of losing you or Shaun. It's pointless. You shouldn't worry about it."

"But you worry about my problems all the time," Norman responded, turning himself around in Ethan's hold to face him as concern took over his expression. "Did somethin' happen earlier? Ehnothah nightmare or ehnethin’?”

"No...No, e-everything's fine. Really. I just need to be close to you right now." The architect rested his head on Norman's shoulder, his grasp not weakening for even a second. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not," Norman answered. “Ah’m just trying to look out for you.”

The room grew silent again after his response, but he didn’t mind. He was never really the type of man who wanted to talk for hours on end. He was completely content with remaining warm and secure in his lover’s arms, and he hoped that he could help him feel the same way.

“You _are_ happy here, right?” Ethan asked him softly.

“I nevuh felt bettuh,” Norman replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Just making sure. I, um…noticed that you sometimes look…distant. I-I’m not saying that’s not okay or anything—“

“It’s just how I am,” the younger man responded. “How ah’ve always been. Nevuh tried to get close to people before…” He ducked his head downward a bit and looked off to the side, tensing up slightly. It felt strange, opening up to Ethan about this topic. “…ah’m still adjusting to it is all. You’ll have to be patient with me. Ah’m not used to living with others, an’…this might sound stupid, but I feel a bit like ah’m intruding…like I don’t actually belong here or somethin’.”

Norman hoped that Ethan wouldn’t take that the wrong way. He truly wanted to be here, and he wouldn’t have traded his nights sleeping by the father’s side and his days spending time with him and Shaun for anything else the world had to offer him. But he had been alone for so long before this, it was almost like he couldn’t be anything but that.

“I didn’t think that was something you’d worry about,” Ethan said after a moment of silence. “I mean… _I_ asked _you_ to stay with us. If I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have given you the key. And Shaun was really excited too, when we told him you were moving in...and he's actually been sleeping a lot better since then.”

_Well, okay. That was a better response than I was expecting._ The tone within his voice didn’t betray his words either, it seemed. The architect didn’t sound hurt or irritated--he instead sounded merely confused. Not to mention the way Ethan's reminder that he was wanted warmed his heart...and could it have been true that Shaun was having less difficulty with sleep because of _him?_

Still, Norman felt like he should have admitted that differently, in a way that didn’t sound so somber. After all, it was Ethan who was currently feeling anxious about matters, and so it was up to Norman to help soothe him.

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one who stresses out ovuh things he shouldn’t,” the profiler sighed, shutting his eyes. “An’ ehneway, it’s nothin’ serious at all. It’s just a consequence of living alone for so long.”

He then took Ethan’s face into his hands and placed a kiss upon his lips, one that was quick but long enough to express the affection he wanted to convey. His shoulders tensed up slightly as he pulled away, due to the fact that he wasn’t used to initiating their kisses, but he could see his partner’s expression, even with how dark the room was, and any insecurity he had felt before was chased away by the reminder of just how _cute_ Ethan looked when he was caught off-guard.

“But you know what? If I shouldn’t worry about intruding because you gave me the key, then you shouldn’t worry about me not enjoying myself.” He drew his arms around his lover’s torso, one hand slowly and gently caressing his back. “Because if I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t have accepted the key."

Already he could feel Ethan relaxing under his touch, and he could not help but smile a little in success. Ethan's arms were still wrapped quite firmly around him--not that he would _ever_ complain about that--but he felt his chest up against his, falling a bit as he exhaled and the tension began to leave his body.

"An' you wanna know somethin' else, Ethan?" Norman asked, lowering his voice to a soft whisper as he gave a tender squeeze to Ethan. "You an' Shaun have made _my_ life a lot bettuh, too. I don't even want to think about where I might be right now if you hadn't contacted me again. But I don't hafta think about that now...an' neither should you."

Finally, he heard a soft, shaky laugh from the architect. The hold around him began to weaken slightly, much to his dismay, but he knew that it meant Ethan was growing calmer now, and for that he couldn’t feel that twinge of disappointment for very long at all.

“I’m so glad I have you here, Norm,” he sighed, relief and adoration flooding the tone in his soft voice. “I always feel better when I talk to you.”

“Ah’m happy I could help,” Norman responded, allowing his smile to spread wider across his face. “An’ you should remember that ah’m not going ehnewhere if you don’t want me to. We're all here, we're all safe, an' ah’ll make certain that nothin’ like what we’ve been through before evuh happens to us again.”

He felt Ethan’s arm slowly move up his body, and a hand reached up to caress his cheek—it was his left hand, he noticed, due to the pinky finger that felt partially missing against his skin, another reminder of what the father had been put through months ago. Another reminder of what Norman wanted to prevent from happening again, that protecting this man and his child was his top priority now, no matter what the circumstances turned out to be. He leaned into his lover’s hand as it moved up further, fingers running through his thick, dark hair.

“I promise to do the same for you,” Ethan murmured, absent-mindedly playing with the younger man’s hair. “After everything that’s happened, I’m not taking the chance of risking my loved ones to danger."

"I know you won’t,” Norman whispered, still eagerly leaning into Ethan’s touch for a moment before moving over to kiss him again, looking into his eyes with a compassionate expression in his own. “I know how anxious you’ve been about things aftuh our situation. I can tell that it’s been affecting you more often recently.”

“I’m sorry.” Ethan ducked his head down quickly, a faint look of regret crossing his face. “I didn’t want it to be obvious. I did what I could to try to hide it, but…”

Norman gently grabbed his lover’s chin and brought him to make eye contact with him once more. “You don’t hafta apologize, Ethan. An’ you don’t hafta hide your anxiety from me. You know ah’d always try to help you howevuh I could…don’t you?”

With only a slight amount of hesitation, Ethan nodded. “Yeah…I-I do.”

“Good.”

Silence took over the two of them once again, though it was a different type of silence than before. Despite the reassurances the profiler kept supplying, the atmosphere still felt somewhat tense to him. But he knew it was impossible to chase all of Ethan’s fears away. It was just one more hindrance they had to endure together.

He then felt a bit startled when Ethan’s arms tightened around him again all of a sudden.

“Ethan?”

“I think I still need to be close to you,” the older man whispered. “If you don’t mind.”

The tension melted away in an instant, and Norman rested his forehead upon Ethan's, nuzzling him slightly in the process. “You know I don’t mind.”

Ethan laughed a bit in response as he proceeded to snuggle up closer to Norman, his embrace as warm and firm as ever. Norman hummed softly at the feeling of extra warmth as the two of them made themselves comfortable in their positions again, and soon after they felt themselves slowly drifting off into sleep once more. It always felt good knowing that he was helping out his new family, and he also couldn't help but feel a hint of relief from getting his own insecurities off his chest--even if he didn't get direct answers to them.

"Norman, I love you," Ethan murmured into his ear, trying (but failing) to suppress a yawn.

"I love you too, Ethan."

But going by everything the architect had told him, perhaps he didn't need direct answers after all.


End file.
